Crystal Kelley ran through the calendar once again in her head.
It was August, and if she got pregnant soon, she could avoid carrying during
the hot summer months -- she'd done that before and didn't want to do it again.
There was no time to lose.
But there was one problem: She had no one to get her pregnant.
Kelley picked up the phone and called a familiar number. What about the nice
single man who'd inquired before -- would he be interested? No, the woman told
her. She hadn't heard from him in weeks.
Disappointed, Kelley asked if there was anyone else who would hire her. She'd
had two miscarriages herself and wanted to help someone else with fertility
problems. Plus, she really needed the $22,000 fee.
Hold on, the woman said, let me see.
Yes, she said, there was a couple who wanted to meet her. Was she ready to
take down their e-mail address?
Absolutely, Kelley answered.
A playground meeting
Most surrogacies have happy endings, and this one should have too -- with a
couple welcoming a new baby into their home and Kelley enjoying her fee, plus
the satisfaction that she'd helped another family.
Instead, it ended with legal actions, a secretive flight to another state,
and a frenzied rush to find parents for a fragile baby.
After speaking with the surrogacy agency, Kelley, then 29, arranged to meet
the couple at a playground near her home in Vernon, Connecticut, a suburb of
Hartford. When she arrived, she liked what she saw. The couple was caring and
attentive with their three children, who were sweet and well-mannered and played
nicely with her own two daughters. The couple desperately wanted a fourth child,
but the mother couldn't have any more babies. Yes, Kelley told them right then
and there. Yes, I will have a child for you.
CNN made several unsuccessful attempts to contact the couple by phone and
e-mail.
The couple had conceived their children through in-vitro fertilization and
had two frozen embryos left over. Doctors thawed them out and on October 8,
2011, put them in Kelley's uterus.
About 10 days later, a blood test showed she was pregnant -- one of the
embryos had taken.
Kelley and the parents were thrilled, and over the next few weeks, the mother
was attentive and caring. When Kelley had morning sickness the mother called
every day to see how she was feeling. She gave Kelley and Kelley's daughters
Christmas presents. When Kelley couldn't make rent, the mother made sure she got
her monthly surrogate fee a few days early.
"She said, 'I want you to come to us with anything because you're going to be
part of our lives forever,' " Kelley remembers.
'There's something wrong with the baby'
"Congratulations! You made it half through!" the mother emailed Kelley on
February 6.
It was one of the last friendly e-mails between Kelley and the woman who'd
hired her.
A few days later, Kelley, five months pregnant, had a routine ultrasound to
make sure the baby was developing properly. The ultrasound technician struggled
to see the baby's tiny heart and asked her to come back the next week when the
baby would be more developed.
At that next ultrasound, the technician said it was still hard to see the
heart and asked Kelley to go to Hartford Hospital, where they could do a
higher-level ultrasound.
Apparently, there was more to it than that.
As Kelley was driving home, her cell phone rang. It was the baby's
mother.
"She kept saying, 'There's something wrong with the baby. There's something
wrong with the baby. What are we going to do?' " Kelley remembers. "She was
frantic. She was panicking."
Then the midwife called. She told Kelley the ultrasound showed the baby had a
cleft lip and palate, a cyst in her brain and serious heart defects. They
couldn't see a stomach or a spleen.
The next ultrasound was three days away, and Kelley grew increasingly anxious
with each passing day. By the time she walked into Hartford Hospital on February
16, 2012, she was 21 weeks pregnant and "absolutely terrified" of what the
ultrasound would show and what the parents' reaction would be.
An emotional standoff
With the parents standing behind her, the ultrasound technician at the
hospital put the wand on Kelley's stomach. The test confirmed her worst fears:
It showed the baby did have a cleft lip and palate, a cyst in the brain, and a
complex heart abnormality.
The doctors explained the baby would need several heart surgeries after she
was born. She would likely survive the pregnancy, but had only about a 25%
chance of having a "normal life," Kelley remembers the doctors saying.
In a letter to Kelley's midwife, Dr. Elisa Gianferrari, a maternal fetal
medicine specialist at Hartford Hospital, and Leslie Ciarleglio, a genetic
counselor, described what happened next.
"Given the ultrasound findings, (the parents) feel that the interventions
required to manage (the baby's medical problems) are overwhelming for an infant,
and that it is a more humane option to consider pregnancy termination," they
wrote.
Kelley disagreed.
"Ms. Kelley feels that all efforts should be made to 'give the baby a chance'
and seems adamantly opposed to termination," they wrote.
The letter describes how the parents tried to convince Kelley to change her
mind. Their three children were born prematurely, and two of them had to spend
months in the hospital and still had medical problems. They wanted something
better for this child.
"The (parents) feel strongly that they pursued surrogacy in order to minimize
the risk of pain and suffering for their baby," Gianferrari and Ciarleglio
wrote. They "explained their feelings in detail to Ms. Kelley in hopes of coming
to an agreement."
The two sides were at a standoff. The doctor and the genetic counselor
offered an amniocentesis in the hope that by analyzing the baby's genes, they
could learn more about her condition. Kelley was amenable, they noted, but the
parents "feel that the information gained from this testing would not influence
their decision to consider pregnancy termination."
The atmosphere in the room became very tense, Kelley remembers. The parents
were brought into the geneticist's office to give everyone some privacy.
After a while, Kelley was reunited with the parents.
"They were both visibly upset. The mother was crying," she remembers. "They
said they didn't want to bring a baby into the world only for that child to
suffer. ... They said I should try to be God-like and have mercy on the child
and let her go."
"I told them that they had chosen me to carry and protect this child, and
that was exactly what I was going to do," Kelley said. "I told them it wasn't
their decision to play God."
Then she walked out of the room.
"I couldn't look at them anymore," she said.
$10,000 to have an abortion
The next day, according to medical records, the mother called Hartford
Hospital to ask about different types of abortion. It was explained to her that
they could induce birth (the baby wouldn't survive) or they could do a dilation
and evacuation, in which case the pregnancy would be vacuumed out of the womb.
The mother, after asking about whether the fetus would feel any pain, said she
thought the second option was best.
She asked if the procedure had been scheduled. No, she was told. Only Kelley
could do that.
The mother noted that the surrogacy agency was getting in touch with Kelley,
and a few days later, Kelley received an e-mail from Rita Kron at Surrogacy
International telling her that if she chose to have the baby, the couple
wouldn't agree to be the baby's legal parents.
"You will be the only person who will be making decision (sic) about the
child, should the child is born," Kron wrote.
CNN contacted Surrogacy International, and a woman who said her name was Rita
answered the phone.
"You have to understand something -- there is a privacy that exists and
that's the end of the story," she said and then hung up. Kron did not return
CNN's e-mails.
Kelley didn't want to be the baby's mother -- she'd gotten pregnant to help
another family, not to have a child of her own. Kron gave her an option: the
parents would pay her $10,000 to have an abortion.
The offer tested Kelley's convictions. She'd always been against abortion for
religious and moral reasons, but she really needed the money. Just before
getting pregnant, she'd lost her job as a nanny, and the only income she had
coming in was child support from her daughters' father and her monthly surrogacy
fee of $2,222, which was about to end because of the dispute with the
parents.
Her resolve began to falter. Then it nearly crumbled.
Kron took Kelley to lunch.
"She painted a picture of a life of a person who had a child with special
needs. She told me how it would be painful, it would be taxing, it would be
strenuous and stressful. She told me it would financially drain me, that my
children would suffer because of it," Kelley remembers.
Kelley had a counter offer. "In a weak moment I asked her to tell them that
for $15,000 I would consider going forward with the termination," she said.
But as soon as she got in the car to go home, she regretted it, Kelley said.
Kron let Kelley know the parents had refused to pay $15,000. By that point,
it didn't matter to Kelley -- she'd decided against abortion no matter what.
Kron sent her an e-mail asking if she'd scheduled the appointment for the
abortion.
Kelley wrote back a one-word answer: no.
'TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE'
On February 22, 2012, six days after the fateful ultrasound, Kelley received
a letter. The parents had hired a lawyer.
"You are obligated to terminate this pregnancy immediately," wrote Douglas
Fishman, an attorney in West Hartford, Connecticut. "You have squandered
precious time."
On March 5, Kelley would be 24 weeks pregnant, and after that, she couldn't
legally abort the pregnancy, he said.
"TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE," he wrote.
Fishman reminded Kelley that she'd signed a contract, agreeing to "abortion
in case of severe fetus abnormality." The contract did not define what
constituted such an abnormality.
Kelley was in breach of contract, he wrote, and if she did not abort, the
parents would sue her to get back the fees they'd already paid her -- around
$8,000 -- plus all of the medical expenses and legal fees.
Fishman did not return phone calls and e-mails from CNN.
Kelley decided it was time to get her own attorney.
Michael DePrimo, an attorney in Hamden, Connecticut, took the case for free.
He explained that no matter what the contract said, she couldn't be forced to
have an abortion.
DePrimo sent an e-mail to Fishman, the parents' lawyer, stating that Kelley
was not going to have an abortion.
"Ms. Kelley was more than willing to abort this fetus if the dollars were
right," Fishman shot back.
"The not-so-subtle insinuation that Ms. Kelley attempted to extort money from
your clients is unfounded and reprehensible," DePrimo responded. "If you wish to
propose a solution to this unspeakable tragedy, I will listen and apprize
(sic)my client accordingly."
"However, as I mentioned in my previous correspondence, abortion is off the
table and will not be considered under any circumstance," he said.
A secret flight
In an affidavit filed in Connecticut Superior Court, DePrimo described what
happened next.
DePrimo received a phone call from Fishman telling him the parents had
changed their minds. They now planned to exercise their legal right to take
custody of their child -- and then immediately after birth surrender her to the
state of Connecticut. She would become a ward of the state.
DePrimo explained to Kelley that this was no empty threat. Under state law,
they were the parents, not her, and under Connecticut's Safe Haven Act for
Newborns, parents can voluntarily give up custody of a baby less than a month
old without being arrested for child abandonment.
Kelley couldn't stand the thought of the baby in foster care. She'd heard the
nightmare stories.
She felt like her back was up against the wall.
Her lawyer explained she could go to court and fight to get custody of the
baby, or fight to appoint a guardian for the baby, but Connecticut law is very
clear that the genetic parents are the legal parents, so she'd likely lose in
court.
There was one more option, DePrimo told her. She could go to a place where
she, not the genetic parents, would be considered the baby's legal mother.
That place was 700 miles away.
Over the years, states have developed different laws about surrogacy. Some,
like Connecticut, say the genetic parents -- the ones who supplied the sperm and
the egg -- are the baby's legal parents. Other states don't recognize surrogacy
contracts, and so the baby legally belongs to the woman who's carrying the baby.
On April 11, in her seventh month of pregnancy, Kelley and her daughters left
for one of those states -- Michigan. While she was gassing up her car to leave,
her lawyer informed the parents' lawyer about her plans.
"Once I realized that I was going to be the only person really fighting for
her, that Mama bear instinct kicked in, and there was no way I was giving up
without a fight," Kelley said.
Kelley chose Michigan because of its laws, but also its medicine: she'd been
doing research on the baby's condition, and concluded C.S. Mott Children's
Hospital at the University of Michigan had one of the best pediatric heart
programs in the country.
When she arrived, she found an inexpensive summer sublet from a University of
Michigan student and applied for Michigan Medicaid. She made appointments with a
high-risk pregnancy specialist and a pediatric cardiologist and settled into
life in Ann Arbor with her girls.
There was one thing left to do: She had to decide if she would keep the
baby.
She was a single mother with no job and no permanent place to live, but she'd
grown emotionally attached to the life inside her, and some days she wanted to
keep her.
Kelley struggled, and finally decided she wasn't the right person to raise
the child. But she knew who was: in her online research, she'd met other mothers
of children with special needs. One of them had been particularly helpful,
putting her in touch with support groups and sharing stories and photos of her
own children -- both biological and adopted -- with medical problems.
The woman and her husband helped Kelley pack up to move to Michigan, and gave
her emotional support as well.
"While it is true that (the baby) will face some life-long challenges, it is
also true that it is also more than possible for her to have a wonderful life
and to thrive," the mother wrote to Kelley in an e-mail. "I am sorry that (her)
biological parents have abandoned their daughter and left you navigating this
new, unexpected journey as the sole person bearing responsibility for (her)
well-being and care."
Kelley asked the couple to adopt the baby.
They said yes. The baby now had a home, and it would be undisputed.
Or so Kelley thought.
An unexpected challenge
Kelley hadn't heard from the biological parents in months when in May, about
one month before the baby's due date, the parents filed in Connecticut Superior
Court for parental rights. They wanted to be the legal parents. They wanted
their names on the birth certificate.
The legal papers included a stunning admission: the wife was not the baby's
genetic mother -- they'd used an anonymous egg donor.
The case had now become very complicated. The lawyers were still negotiating
about who would be the legal parents when the baby was born June 25.
She was full-term and six pounds nine ounces, but she wasn't breathing. Her
body was limp and blue. Her heart rate was dangerously low.
The pediatricians pumped oxygen into her tiny lungs, and in about 20 seconds
her heart rate went up to normal. She breathed on her own. Her color
normalized.
"Infant appears to be moving all extremities and crying appropriately," the
medical record stated.
Kelley's name went on the birth certificate. Kelley said she left the space
for the father's name blank.
Three weeks later, the two sides struck a deal: The father agreed to give up
his paternal rights as long as he and his wife could keep in touch with the
adoptive family about the baby's health. Since then, the couple has visited the
baby. The father has held her.
"They do care about her well-being. They do care about how she's doing," the
adoptive mother said.
A long list of med problems -- and an infectious smile
The baby's medical problems turned out to be much more extensive than the
ultrasound at Hartford Hospital had revealed.
She has a birth defect called holoprosencephaly, where the brain fails to
completely divide into distinct hemispheres. She has heterotaxy, which means
many of her internal organs, such as her liver and stomach, are in the wrong
places. She has at least two spleens, neither of which works properly. Her head
is very small, her right ear is misshapen, she has a cleft lip and a cleft
palate, and a long list of complex heart defects, among other problems.
Baby S. -- her adoptive parents are comfortable using her first initial --
has a long road in front of her. She's already had one open-heart surgery and
surgery on her intestines, and in the next year she'll need one or two more
cardiac surgeries in addition to procedures to repair her cleft lip and palate.
Later in childhood she'll need surgeries on her jaw and ear and more heart
surgeries.
Her adoptive parents, who asked to remain anonymous to protect their family's
privacy, know Baby S. might not be with them for long. The cardiac procedures
she needs are risky, and her heterotaxy and holoprosencephaly, though mild,
carry a risk of early death, according to doctors.
If Baby S. does survive, there's a 50% chance she won't be able to walk, talk
or use her hands normally.
In some ways, Baby S. looks different from other 8-month-olds babies. In
addition to the facial abnormalities, she's very small, weighing only 11 pounds
and she gets food through a tube directly into her stomach so she'll grow
faster.
Her adoptive parents know some people look at her and see a baby born to
suffer -- a baby who's suffering could have been prevented with an abortion.
But that's not the way they see it. They see a little girl who's defied the
odds, who constantly surprises her doctors with what she's able to do -- make
eye contact, giggle at her siblings, grab toys, eye strangers warily.
"S. wakes up every single morning with an infectious smile. She greets her
world with a constant sense of enthusiasm," her mother said in an e-mail to CNN.
"Ultimately, we hold onto a faith that in providing S. with love, opportunity,
encouragement, she will be the one to show us what is possible for her life and
what she is capable of achieving."
Savior or Satan?
Just as there are two ways to look at Baby S., there are two ways to look at
Crystal Kelley, the woman who carried her.
In one view, she's a saint who fought at great personal sacrifice for an
unborn child whose own parents did not want her to live. In another view, she
recklessly absconded with someone else's child and brought into the world a baby
who faces serious medical challenges when that wasn't her decision to make.
Kelley knows some people hate her.
She's blogged about Baby S., and many readers, especially other surrogates,
have attacked her.
"I can't tell you how many people told me that I was bad, that I was wrong,
that I should go have an abortion, that I would be damned to hell," she
said.
In the end, she feels like she did the right thing.
"No one else was feeling this pregnancy the way that I was. No one else could
feel her kicking and moving around inside," she said. "I knew from the beginning
that this little girl had an amazing fighting spirit, and whatever challenges
were thrown at her, she would go at them with every ounce of spirit that she
could possibly have."
"No matter what anybody told me, I became her mother."